Urbin Report

Monday, September 29, 2008

Delicious Snark on pirates in way over their heads

Tamara K. delivers this mornings yummy, yummy snark.

...when you climb aboard a ship and find it filled to the gunwales with 33 Ukrainian T-72 tanks destined for gawd-only-knows where, it might be prudent to just climb quietly back off and motor away, because that's the sort of thievery that's going to draw attention.

Now, it strikes me that the sort of people who go shipping half a battalion's worth of main battle tanks around the seven seas are not the kind of people to take it lying down when their cargo goes missing. Boarding a ship and finding it full of tanks would be like burglarizing a house and finding a plaque on the mantlepiece "To Vinnie for faithful service. Love Don and the rest of the guys at La Cosa Nostra Enterprises"; the sensible criminal would just let himself out and apologize for the disturbance. Instead, our Somali rocket scientists are holed up on the boat and surrounded by warships.

The warships are there because the various governments of civilized and semi-civilized countries with interests in the area are wondering where the tanks were going. Kenya claims they purchased them at the big Labor Day Sale at Crazy Ivan's Used Tank Lot, but seems to be having difficulty coming up with a receipt.