Urbin Report

Monday, November 24, 2003

You Know You're In San Francisco When . . .

The only Republicans you know are President Bush and your deer-hunting uncle in Minnesota, and you hate 'em both.

Pot is legal, and tobacco is illegal.

You tell your daughter sex before marriage is OK, as long as she and her partner don't use your recreational drugs, your boyfriend, your priest or your bed.

You can't decide what to major in at college: astral projections, witchcraft, channeling or hating Republicans.

Every time there's an earthquake, you're under a table praying that the metropolis will finally get to break away from the mainland.

Each morning, while drinking a latte at Starbucks, you review a complete list of companies you need to boycott.

You think the Left is right and the Right is wrong.

This, of course, is not the complete list.