Urbin Report

Monday, July 28, 2003

Good News From Iraq

Today's Raped-By-Uday Count Stands at Zero

(2003-07-28) -- The Pentagon announced again today that its raped-by-Uday count remained at zero for the sixth day in a row. About 11 million Iraqi women have not been raped by Uday Hussein since he, and his brother, were killed by American troops last week.

"Since the end of his major sadistic operations about six days ago, we have no recorded incidents of Uday Hussein raping teenage girls or anyone else," said an unnamed Pentagon spokesman. "He has also not tortured anyone since that day. Iraq is still a dangerous place, but our estimates indicate that Uday will rape approximately no girls or women for the rest of this month, nor for many months to follow."